If Only The Knicks Had Darko, Kurt Rambis, Or Both

We liked Marc Berman’s latest blog entry over at the New York Post so much that we asked him to come over to our site and expand on his thoughts (Note, this is a parody, Marc Berman did not write the entry below, but I’m in tune to his special brand of propagandistic muck-raking, so I know that if the Bermanator did write a guest spot for us, it would go a little something like this:)

Darko Milicic has exactly one more ring than Mike D’Antoni, so who would have been more crucial to the Knicks’ success going forward? The guy with the ring obviously. The second overall pick behind LeBron James and ahead of Carmello Anthony earned that ring playing a key role for the Detroit Pistons during their 2004 championship run. He averaged 4.6 minutes, 1.4 points and 1.3 boards. Without those contributions, the Pistons might not have even made the playoffs. But the Pistons, for some reason, gave up on Darko. What a waste. They traded him to the Orlando Magic where he averaged career highs in points (8) and rebounds (6.1). Then the Magic inexplicably gave up on Darko Milicic. Who knows why. Morons. He signed a free agent deal with Memphis, where the Grizzlies gave up on him. For some reason. I bet they wish they still had him, since now they are left with second overall pick Thabeet “patrolling” the paint. If only the Knicks had Thabeet. Alas, that’s a topic for another day.


Then after all those teams gave up on Darko, Mike D’Antoni made the inexcusable, indefensible coaching decision to give up on Darko. D’Antoni apparently thought Darko was lazy and mailed it in. There’s no credibility to that assertion. I know Tommy Dee routinely noticed that Darko was always the first player off the court after practice, but what does he know, he’s just a blogger.

What was D’Antoni thinking???

Sadly, since D’Antoni folded his hand, Donnie Walsh traded Darko to the Timberwolves, a team Darko has powered to a STAGGERING 1-15 record since the trade while averaging 7.0 points and 5.6 rebounds. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN OURS!!!! If Mike D’Antoni knew how to properly value his players the Knicks could be more like the 14 win Timberwolves, who astutely drafted Johnny Flynn and Ricky Rubio.

And Darko has found so much success in Minnesota because they know how to treat their players. In fact, Darko, who was pining to get back to Europe when he had to collect his mammoth game checks to do nothing in New York, now wants to stay in the NBA. But only if the team guarantees him the 30-35 minutes he’s earned by carrying them to a .062 winning percentage.

If D’Antoni only had a clue, the Knicks would probably have at least 50 wins by now, all due to Darko’s dominant scoring and boardwork. And if he never planned on using the guy, at least the Knicks could have still had Quentin Richardson, who is averaging a Darko-esque 8.6 points and 4.9 rebounds in a shade under 30 minutes for the Heat. Another chance at 50 wins squandered! Ugh!

Donnie put together a title contender for Mike D’Antoni. But D’Antoni didn’t play the studs. Darko? Banished! Hughes? Banished! Nate? Banished during Nate-gate (“haters” might say the Knicks had their best month in close to a decade during this time. But that is just a “fact”, which we don’t value over here at News Corp.)! Curry? Banished! Here’s what the Knicks could have been if not for that know-nothing D’Antoni:

PG: Duhon or Marbury

SG: Nate

SF: Hughes

PF: Darko

C: Curry

You mean to tell me that this squad wouldn’t have more than the 26 wins the currently mismanaged group sports? Please. The problem in New York isn’t the lack of talent of the players, it’s the lack of talent of the head coach, who should’ve played Darko at center for his added 5 boards instead of their current all-star center. Case closed. I’m smart.


  1. chris

    all I have to say. HAHAHAHA. Awesome. Don’t forget that Minn drafted like 4 pgs and the worst one of all of them is the only one playing there.

  2. Tony

    Berman right as usual. Minneosta is 0 and 15 under Darko. The Darko trade is really, really working! If only we had Darko’s services. Oh yeahhhhh.

    PS Berman, Your earring makes you look like an even bigger fool than you really are.

  3. Traps

    I don’t mind the tongue-in-cheek, but I don’t get why the ferocity in tone was needed. I don’t think the constant bashing of media is necessary, but that’s just me. (Still, if one guy may deserve it, it’s Berman.) Still love the site; keep up the good work, guys.

    • Dan L

      Sorry Traps, he just grinds my gears. I don’t really bash the media per se. Every now and then I’ll contest something Isola writes but the Post is so agenda driven and rife with falsities, I just view it as exposing propaganda. Not sure I’m being any more ferocious than the Post is in tone (I was much worse in this blog’s early days). It’s like commenter 37 Years said recently: Back in the day all you could do is crumple up the paper, so I think calling on some of the BS that is constantly published fills a need. Hope it doesn’t turn you off too much. Part of it is a byproduct of the poor performance of the team and I think we’ll have much better things to write about come July.

      Where’ve you been dude!?

  4. EwingOak

    Yeah, if anyone deserves a bit of ferocity I guess it would be Berman.. I do get a little sick of all the negative articles he writes.. but maybe it’s no better to let it get to us.

    • Dan L

      As long as I have this blog I’ll never ignore it. He has a big platform and someone needs to contest him when he employs unconscionable spin. People need differing viewpoints in order to come to reasoned conclusions for themselves.

  5. Pingback: When The Story Becomes The Story | The Knicks FanBlog

Post a comment

You may use the following HTML:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>