Cavs fans, trust me on this: You don’t want to do anything to piss off LeBron James. Should be obvious, I think, but what do I know, I go to basketball games for the basketball.
I don’t know if I can say the same thing about you, Cavs fans. And I think LeBron has been wondering too:
Before Wednesday’s regular-season finale against the Philadelphia 76ers, James took the microphone to thank the fans for their support this season. It was quite a season indeed as the Cavs set franchise records by selling out 38 of 41 games and averaging 20,512, just a few dozen below capacity.
James told the crowd that it was a season of “wins and smiles.” But with his teammates around him, he had one request.
“We’re all a family and sometimes families have disagreements,” James said. “If we win, 99-20, don’t boo us because you don’t get a free chalupa.”
James was referring to the occasions this season when the fans got on the Cavs in blowouts when they came up just short of the requisite 100 points to trigger the prize. The Cavs have dribbled out their final possession with the century mark in reach 10 times at home this season.
One particular game in November against Milwaukee, the booing got under James’ skin when fans let him know they weren’t happy he was holding the ball as time expired. Unable to get it off his mind, he expressed some disappointment with fans a few days later.
“We want to bring you all a championship,” James said Wednesday. “Not tacos.”
If you’re a Cavs fan I think it has to worry you that LeBron is carrying this around with him.
Seriously, Cavs fans, what are you thinking? Here you have a team with 66 wins, the best record in the league. But not once, but several times, you boo them in the closing seconds of blowout wins (!), because you won’t be getting fatty, disgusting, processed fast food for free? LeBron’s doing you guys a favor anyway keeping you away from that garbage. What does a chalupa cost anyway? $1.19? What’s wrong with you? I’ll break it down for you. LeBron and your team care more about the dignity of the sport and sportsmanship in general than helping you shove tacos down your gullets. Got me?
LeBron, I promise you, Knicks fans are 1,000 times more sophisticated than this. First off, every game will be sold out. We come to the games to watch basketball, not to roll the dice for an opportunity to win free dysentery in our dining. The Knicks won’t have to entice us with free crap food and still manage to sell out only 38 of 41 games. We’re real fans. We’ll never boo you unless you stink up the joint, due to apathy or selfishness. That’s when we boo. That’s it.
We know enough about you to know these circumstances will never be met with you manning the helm. We’ll never boo you, and we won’t expect you to deliver us chalupas. We’ll get them ourselves (though we probably won’t, as New York has the finest dining in the world, way better than Cleveland). You just deliver us 66 wins and some titles.